Sussan Ley and David Littleproud are now 100 per cent united and Anthony Albanese, leading the worst government since Australian federation, should be quaking in his RM Williams.
That was the message from the two Coalition party leaders on Sunday as they announced they were reuniting, yet again, to hold the prime minister to account. They insist he has no mandate to govern even though he won a record 94 seats less than 12 months ago.
These are not serious people.
In a joint press conference on Sunday, they dismissed reports of disunity and disharmony inside the opposition over the past three weeks as fake news. Never mind that those reports were based largely on the public comments of both leaders and their bewildered supporters.
It was just a pity they could barely bring themselves to look each other in the eye.
It was about as convincing as an ageing rock band getting back together for one more world tour and insisting they weren’t just doing it for the money.
Nothing was said in Sunday’s joint press conference that would give anyone confidence that this reunion will last.
Littleproud has recently adopted the Trumpian tactic of denying statements he released in black and white and he tried it again on Sunday.
When asked about his January 22 comment that the Nationals could not be part of a shadow ministry under Sussan Ley, he said: “No. If the three weren’t reinstated, was the caveat.”
Littleproud made no such caveat on January 22 when he announced the second split in nine months, according to a transcript sent out by his own office.
“Mr Littleproud, you talk about the position of the Coalition being untenable. Is the Coalition really splitting up?” a journalist asked that day.
“Yes, there is no other position we are in. Our party room has made it very clear that we cannot be part of a Shadow Ministry under Sussan Ley,” was Littleproud’s response.
Politicians regularly stretch the truth and make contestable claims but does anyone seriously believe Littleproud’s claim the split was handled in “the most professional way all the way through”?
It would not have been a surprise if he had announced that Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia, so fluent is he in 1984 newspeak.
Ley, for her part, looked like she got the better of the deal and kept smiling like someone who has had a lot of practice pretending everything is fine.
Two days ago her allies in the Liberal Party’s Moderate and Centre Right factions were briefing journalists that Littleproud’s compromise proposal of a six-week suspension for all Nationals from the frontbench was not a serious offer.
Now it is just fine.
While admitting that she and Littleproud had disagreements over the hate speech legislation that triggered this split, Ley said the two had “resolved those differences” and that she “100 per cent” trusts and respects the Nationals and their leader.
To be fair to Ley, she did secure promises from Littleproud that “Coalition internal processes will be strengthened” including signing up all shadow ministers to the principle of solidarity. In addition, neither individual party room will have the power to overturn a decision of shadow cabinet.
But this is a commitment to rules that have been in place for most of the time the Coalition has existed in various forms since 1923.
This deal may buy peace between the parties for a time, perhaps even until the next election, but unless something changes dramatically Albanese will be re-elected and Pauline Hanson’s One Nation, with its anti-immigration message, will win a swag of new seats.
What was once a powerhouse political partnership led by people like Sir Robert Menzies, John Howard, “Black Jack” McEwen and Tim Fisher is now a rabble.
James Massola is chief political commentator. He was previously national affairs editor and South-East Asia correspondent. He has won Quill and Kennedy awards and been a Walkley finalist. Connect securely on Signal @jamesmassola.01Connect via X or email.